My Dad My Hero

There are times when you come across a post on social media, you strongly relate to and feel that it's telling your story! Here is one such quote.

Image Credit: QuotesNStories

Every time I see this, I feel blessed to have a father who always supported me, gave me equal opportunities in every sense (in this unequal world), taught me the importance of being independent and encouraged me in every step of my life.

Today is my dad's birthday (3 Dec). He left this world few months back. I can no more celebrate this day with him now but I want to dedicate this post to him.

Being from an Indian middle class family, where a single member is often supporting the complete household financially, i understand the struggles of a Dad. Though a Bengali, I have grown up in UP and from what I have observed, when you have limited finances and you need to choose to provide education to a girl vs boy child, often a boy takes the precedence! For a girl, it's more like save the money for her marriage. Well, this has never been a case at my home. 

Few instances which left a profound impact on me:

(BCA last year, neighbourhood aunties all worried about my marriage, mom discussed with dad several times). Dad calls me for a discussion!

Dad: Mom is worried about your marriage. I want to ask you if you are interested in getting married now.

Me: Whaaat!! Come dad, i hate marriage.

Dad (to mommy): She doesn't want to and i think she should complete her studies, get a job first, marriage can wait. I think this topic can be put on hold for a few more years.

BCA done and dusted. Now, for MCA, there was a need to arrange the finances. I got to know from a dear friend about education loan, loved the idea and suggested dad about it. Mom got all worried about the burden of loan on our girl, relating it to marriage prospects and what not! 

Me: Dad, don't listen to mom, let's go for the education loan, how will you arrange this money, you have another child (my brother) who would be going to college in few years.

Dad: We will see how to handle that later. Right now, your education is our priority. I have thought about ways to manage the expenses for now so don't worry about it. Do your best.

MCA done. Went for campus placement, got offer for a job in another city. Got cold feet. Cried like hell (annoyed my roomies). Then called Dad. 

Me (crying): It's a job in a different city. I can't do this. I can't live alone. 

Dad: Times are changing. Women are doing everything these days, no need to be scared. You will find friends there. I will accompany you and would be back only when you are comfortable. Accept the offer and trust me on this.

He was right, it was one of the best experiences of my life.

Once I was watching Bachchan family's interview and Shweta Bachchan said, she was not allowed to hold her passport and other stuff while travelling, it was always Abhishek for no reason. I still remember this because it sounded so weird to me. This might be very small thing for some, for me it is not. I have always been given lead in both decision making and responsibility, being the elder one. I was not overlooked for being a girl. 

To all parents out there, support your child, love them, give them equal opportunities & responsibilities. Allow them to explore and take their own decisions. Yes, they can be wrong but so can you! Be there for them, even on things you don't agree to.

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you and miss you so much.

My favorite pic of him

P.S. To all my friends and loved ones who were there with me during this difficult phase, I can't thank you enough and I am blessed to have you in my life. If you need me anytime, I am just a call away.