Being Mommy!

When i was thinking to write this post, i wanted to name it as working Mom! Well, that's my situation!!  But then I thought, why not just Mom, because most of us are sailing in the same boat - be it working or stay-at-home, with some differences of course. 

Motherhood is a blessing....it truly is. The feeling of holding your child for the first time is priceless. I was never in to kids before and people who know me well, were shocked at the transformation i had after being a mom - fun and happiness meant being around my little one instead of watching movies or eating out! 

I took maternity leave of about 3 months and then I joined back. I was blessed to have the support of my parents to take care of my baby when i was working. I thought all is set and both home and work can be managed easily. Soon I was to realize, it's NOT! 

Initial some time was a bit OK but when my kid grew up a little, she wanted us to stay with her and cried like hell when daddy and mommy went to office. During this phase, I felt guilty all the time of not being around my baby when I was working and I had thought several times whether it is best to take a break from work....well I couldn't because let's face it - i loved my job too!   

What is the best way to manage both?

Over these 4 years of being Mommy, I have come to terms with a few things which I share here. I still don't know if there is a best way.

• Have helping hands if you can! When I was home, I wanted to spend time with my kid instead of finishing up house hold chores. So, I had cook and maid for these works.

• There might be times when your kid is more happy spending time with grandparents or friends. Be OK with that. My kiddo loves spending time with grandparents and I love to see them spend time together. 

• Ask for help. Don't feel bad for asking! You must realize you are not a machine, you can't handle everything. Even if you try doing that you will run out of fuel sooner or later. Ask your partner to help with house hold responsibilities. 

• Fix some Daddy time routines like bed time stories or outdoor play time with daddy. This will give you a break and time to reenergize yourself.

• Work with your manager for flexi-hours.  Most people are understanding and supportive, you should be clear about your situation. They would not know unless you tell them.

• Brush off comments and move forward. Traditionally it has been a mom's responsibility to raise kids. Anything goes wrong and its mom's fault! Well, it's hard to change people. There will be people commenting on what are you not doing or highlighting things that daddy is helping with when it should be the mommy (well, ya i have faced that!). Don't bother. Move on.... In today's world roles of daddy and mommy needs to change. 

• Stop trying to prove yourself - Working women is a new thing in India. Even when you are working, you might be compared with stay at home women and their expertise in managing home. Be clear on what you want in life. Apples and oranges can't be compared. Period.

• Keep yourself happy - Well it's hard at times...it really is. But remind yourself, you can't make other's happy, if you are not! Help yourself before helping others. Even in a flight, you are told that in case of emergency, wear your life jacket first and then help others including kids. Try to have some time for your own! 

These are the few things I can think of now. I am sure there are many more. If you want to share your experience or give me tips to manage my life better...please leave your comment. 

Thank you for reading....