Being Mommy!
Maddy
September 17, 2019
1 Comments
When
i was thinking to write this post, i wanted to name it as working Mom! Well,
that's my situation!! But then I thought, why not just Mom, because most
of us are sailing in the same boat - be it working or stay-at-home, with some
differences of course.
I
took maternity leave of about 3 months and then I joined back. I was blessed to
have the support of my parents to take care of my baby when i was working. I
thought all is set and both home and work can be managed easily. Soon I was to
realize, it's NOT!
Initial
some time was a bit OK but when my kid grew up a little, she wanted us to stay
with her and cried like hell when daddy and mommy went to office. During this
phase, I felt guilty all the time of not being around my baby when I was
working and I had thought several times whether it is best to take a break from
work....well I couldn't because let's face it - i loved my job too!
What
is the best way to manage both?
Over
these 4 years of being Mommy, I have come to terms with a few things which I
share here. I still don't know if there is a best way.
- Have helping
hands if you can! When I was home, I wanted to spend time with my kid
instead of finishing up house hold chores. So, I had cook and maid for these
works.
- There might be times when your kid is more happy spending time with grandparents or friends. Be OK with that. My kiddo loves spending time with grandparents and I love to see them spend time together.
- Ask for help.
Don't feel bad for asking! You must realize you are not a machine, you
can't handle everything. Even if you try doing that you will run out of
fuel sooner or later. Ask your partner to help with house hold
responsibilities.
- Fix some Daddy
time routines like bed time stories or outdoor play time with daddy. This
will give you a break and time to reenergize yourself.
- Work with your
manager for flexi-hours. Most people are understanding and
supportive, you should be clear about your situation. They would not know
unless you tell them.
- Brush off
comments and move forward. Traditionally it has been a mom's
responsibility to raise kids. Anything goes wrong and its mom's fault!
Well, it's hard to change people. There will be people commenting on what
are you not doing or highlighting things that daddy is helping with when
it should be the mommy (well, ya i have faced that!). Don't bother. Move
on.... In today's world roles of daddy and mommy needs to change.
- Stop trying to
prove yourself - Working women is a new thing in India. Even when you are
working, you might be compared with stay at home women and their expertise
in managing home. Be clear on what you want in life. Apples and oranges
can't be compared. Period.
- Keep yourself
happy - Well it's hard at times...it really is. But remind yourself, you
can't make other's happy, if you are not! Help yourself before helping
others. Even in a flight, you are told that in case of emergency, wear
your life jacket first and then help others including kids. Try to have
some time for your own!
These
are the few things I can think of now. I am sure there are many more. If you
want to share your experience or give me tips to manage my life better...please
leave your comment.
Thank
you for reading....
